DR HARLINA'S SURVIVAL TIPS FOR TEACHERS : Tips no. 1 - 50

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR TEACHERS : Tip no. 1 - Reflect on the main reason you become a teacher in the first place. Was it your childhood dream or mainly because you did not have much choices then? Why on earth are you still a teacher now? Find the answers in your heart. What you are today is a result of how you first took off in this noble profession...

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR TEACHERS : Tip no. 2 - Assign a special task to your students today : ` Write ONE word that best describes my teacher, Puan/Mrs/Dr/Prof/Mdm ....(fill in the blank with your own name)' Provide each student with a post-it note. Input should be anonymous. Pass around a small box to collect the notes. Paste them on a wall surface (in your bedroom) - the words describe what the students see in you!

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR TEACHERS : Tip no. 3 - Prioritize the weakest student in your class, instead of the cleverest. Those who are gifted with superb IQ could sail thru' without much of your help. It's the weakest who needs you the most. Don't ignore him/her. Look at her/him with a different perspective today - full with hopes & dreams!

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR TEACHERS : Tip no. 4 - Be a great teacher who inspires. From William Hart - a mediocre teacher tells, a good teacher explains, a superior teacher demonstrates & a great teacher inspires! Convince your students that you're a different breed of teacher - the one who really cares & prays for them, every time, every day!

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR TEACHERS : Tip no. 5 - Honour the students' trust in you. Keep their secrets. Do not spread out the private info they confided in you to other teachers in the school, unless it's related to safety and legal matters. Even then, just tell the principle/headmaster. Confidentiality is a part of teaching ethics.

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR TEACHERS : Tip no. 6 - Teach with all your heart, imagine the students are your own flesh and blood. Thank Allah (again & again) for the honour of being a teacher. Focus your energy before stepping into class. Remind yourself of the responsibilities put on your shoulders. Finish this statement : ` At the end of this session, my students should be able to.....'

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR TEACHERS - Tip no.7 - Look back into history - all great individuals were teachers. Rasulullah SAW was a great mu'allim/murrabi. Imam Al-Ghazali, Ibnu Sina, Gandhi, Hippocrates, Buddha, Lao Tzu, Mother Teresa, the list is non-exhaustive. These great people shared a common teaching style - they touched the hearts of each student they encountered (student-centred teaching). How about you?

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR TEACHERS - Tip no.8 - Read, read and read more! Teachers are readers and readers are leaders. Lead your students to explore the marvellous world of knowledge & virtue. Look up for new books & re-read the old ones. Reading builds up creativity of teachers. So, what book are you reading now?

URVIVAL TIPS FOR TEACHERS - Tip no.9 - Shine as your students' best role model, esp. for those who do not have one at home. Practise what you preach, and walk the talk. For students who only have bad role modelling all these while, YOU are their shining beacon, salvation and last hope. Don't let them down, please...

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR TEACHERS - Tip no.10 - Serve as your students' life mentor. Do you still receive SMS, emails, wedding cards, festive greetings and well wishes years after your students have left school/college? Did the old students look for you whenever they came visiting? If so, rejoice...for you're indeed your students' life mentor! If not and you do not really mind, you might have never meant to be one.

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR TEACHERS : Tip no.11 - Remind yourself that teaching profession will not propel you to stardom and wealth. It is indeed a very humble and modest profession. If you're able to turn your teaching career into money-churning business, maybe it helps to pause awhile and rethink. Are you taking advantages of the public's (esp. parents') feeling of insecurity, inadequacy and ignorance? I really hope not....
SURVIVAL TIPS FOR TEACHERS : Tip no.12 - Pat yourself at the back sometimes, especially after a long day at school. Convince yourself that you've done what you could, as best as you would. The end product is not yours to determine. It is indeed sad to see why students keep choosing wrong decisions all the time.At the end of the day, you just have to move on...
SURVIVAL TIPS FOR TEACHERS : Tip no.13 - Smile whenever you're facing your students in class. Experience the `lightness & feel-good feeling' that comes with it. See the counter response from your students, they'll be more cheerful, relaxed and attentive. Enjoy the session together...and before you know it, there goes the bell!

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR TEACHERS: Tip no. 14 - Avoid burn out by ensuring that you're sincere in your teachings. At times when you feel like giving up, check your intentions - there might be secondary (inferior) motives. Pause, reflect & contemplate. You have to recharge your batteries & dynamo to keep shining!

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR TEACHERS: Tip no. 15 - Be a `student-friendly' and `stress-free' teacher. Provide a safe environment for your students to make mistakes and learn, yet be clear of what you expect from them. Only the best and nothing less! You can strike the balance between being fair, realistic and strict all at the same time.

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR TEACHERS: Tip no. 16 - Pray for your students, every single one of them. Visualize their faces as you say your prayers. Beg Allah to bestow you with wisdom, patience and dedication. You definitely depend on divine intervention to complete this noble teaching mission. Ask nothing in return, except for Allah's blessings.

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR TEACHERS: Tip no. 17 - Share a part of you with your students. Do not be aloof and detached from them. Tell them about your life experiences - esp. those that have changed you to be a better person. Yet, do not ever try to be boastful - they can easily tell when you're inflating yourself!

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR TEACHERS: Tip no. 18 - Be creative in class . Surprise your students with new style of teaching & learning materials. Bring them out of the class, guide them to discover the biggest book, spread open in-front of them : the world & universe. Learning is supposed to be fun, thrilling & enjoyable!

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR TEACHERS: Tip no. 19 - Contain your anger the next time you almost blow your top in front of the class! Push the `pause' button. Give yourself and the students time-out...I suggest you tell them why you're angry, assign a short redemption task , step out of the class, return after 10 min - InsyaAllah, you'll find a more cooperative class - how grateful they are that you do not shout this time!

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR TEACHERS: Tip no. 20 - Be humble, lower down your wings. Humility will never make you inferior. Avoid being a snob, or feeling more superior. Stop looking down at others. It takes a lot of courage and sense of security to be humble, especially if you have achieved so much in life. You will gain more respect from students and colleagues if you're humble, Just mark my words.

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR TEACHERS: Tip no. 21 - Aim to greet your students first, before they greet you. Surprise them with your warm salam/hello, calling out their names (if you have good memory) at the end of the greeting.Enjoy their initial `stunned' facial expression. Dale Carnegie reminded us : The most important word a person would like to hear is his/her own name!

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR TEACHERS: Tip no. 22 - Be a good team member among the teaching staff. Demonstrate outstanding tolerance, cooperation and teamwork. Do not back-bite, gossip or talk bad about other teachers infront of your class. Settle all misunderstandings with colleagues. Never turn the teaching staffroom into a war zone!

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR TEACHERS: Tip no. 23 - Use encouraging words when you're giving feedback to students. Replace all those harsh, bitter, humiliating critics with better alternatives words in your comments. Be aware of your body languages. Constant degradation and humiliation is the WORST form of teaching! If that's your usual feedback strategy, it is indeed high time to change!

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR TEACHERS: Tip no. 24 - Extend your friendly hands to your partners in this noble mission of teaching; the parents & guardians of your students! They might not seem to be interested or just too busy to supervise their children, yet their role is indeed pivotal. Engage them as much as you can, don't give up! How about sending them an informal personal friendship card through their children? You might see an increase turn-ups in the next PTA meeting!

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR MEDICAL STUDENTS: Tip no. 25 - Be exceptionally strong in your spiritual development. A doctor's soul needs constant enhancement and purification. It's your pure and sincere intention that serves as a shining beacon in the dark, showing you the way. Do not ever neglect your soul, or else you'll get easily demotivated, demoralized, derailed and defeated!

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR TEACHERS : Tip no. 26 - Recall your own teacher whom you liked most. What was the main quality in that particular teacher that made him/her exceptionally special, at least to you, if not for anyone else? How about you now? Are you inspiring enough to your students? Does anyone in your class wish to be like YOU one day?

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR TEACHERS: Tip no. 27 – Stop nagging your students. Instead, start listening to their heart messages. When your student complains that no matter what he/she does, it is never enough to please you – his/her heart message is saying ; `I hope you appreciate me and notice what I’m trying to do here.’ There’s no way you can hear those heart messages with your loud nagging noise at the background!

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR TEACHERS: Tip no. 28 - Involve yourself in voluntary social work within your neighbourhood to enrich your life experience and perspectives. Do not isolate yourself from your community. Display genuine and caring attitudes to others. A teacher is highly regarded in a society, for the wisdom and good deeds that he/she is expected to contribute. Just give yourself away, you'll get more in return, InsyaAllah!

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR TEACHERS: Tip no. 29 - Assist your students to discover Allah their Creator, their purpose of life, their destiny. Do not push TRUTH down their throats, they might regurgitate & vomit it all out. Allow them to come to their own conclusions. Be prepared to face their challenges & debates. After all, you want them to be critical thinkers, eh? Just lead their thoughts to Allah, and they will soon discover Him themselves.

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR TEACHERS: Tip no. 30 - Allocate the last five minutes of your teaching session for a short, special dedication to one of your students. One student for each session. It can be a line of poem, a Malay pantun, a remark or a statement that indicates your hope - with his/her name specifically mentioned in it. Start with the last student in the name list, going upward. Feel the anticipation & excitement buzzing in the class as each session comes to an end....Enjoy it!

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR TEACHERS: Tip no. 31 - Always bear in mind, there might be a few `late bloomers' in your class now. They are relatively slower in catching up with what you're teaching. Hold your tongue, do not degrade/compare them with the smart, brilliant students. Google `late bloomers' - you'll be surprised to see the famous names listed in this category!

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR TEACHERS: Tip no. 32 - Overcome your prejudice and bias. Do not discriminate. Different does not mean less good or much better. Manage diversity wisely by celebrating or embracing it. Or at least be tolerant and inclusive. There would not have been beautiful rainbows around without the seven different colours!

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR TEACHERS: Tip no. 33 - Avoid measuring your teaching success simply by the number of students scoring A for your subject. That might be the easiest way, but certainly not the most accurate. If only you could keep track of those students who were inspired by you, and shifted their paradigms for better lives & future - now, that is what I consider real success!

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR TEACHERS: Tip no. 34 - First, reflect and contemplate. Then regulate and align your actions. After that, correct all your mistakes and wrongdoings. Those are three steps towards building up your professionalism. Without ability to reflect, you will never realize your strengths & weaknesses, resistant towards feedback and will not be able to improve!

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR TEACHERS: Tip no. 35 - Adhere to principles. Let the students experience what principle-centredness really means. We have to disagree and dispute our close friends when they're doing wrongs, and compliment/praise our enemies if they're doing the right thing! How else would students learn about what's right or wrong - if it's not from the teachers! (parents included)

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR TEACHERS : Tip no. 36 - Assist your students to adapt deep learning approach. Guide them to relate everything they learn to their daily lives, it is not merely to pass exams! Impress them with your massive knowledge & experience.

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR TEACHERS : Tip no. 37 - Do not expect much gratitudes from your students, especially after they have succeeded. Be grateful if they pray for you, even sometimes if not always. Allah knows exactly how much you have contributed for those young people's life and future. Stop worrying, just go on teaching.

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR TEACHERS : Tip no. 38 - Thank your students today before you step out of your class. Appreciate their determination to attend school everyday. Tell them how much you treasure their trust in you. After their usual sing-song thank, `Terima kasih Cikgu!', stand there for another 30 seconds & say `Terima kasih murid-muridku!' Say it out loud, clear and sincerely.

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR TEACHERS : Tip no. 39 - Be constantly reminded, as teachers, we cannot not role-model. Students are observing and watching. Choose between the two - as a good, exemplary role model or a bad one. The choice is totally yours!

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR TEACHERS : Tip no. 40 - Never be discouraged by your students' misconducts & lack of good manners. Those undesirable behaviours are indicators of existing gaps / loopholes in the education process of the individuals. Simply speaking, they haven't learned enough from their parents, teachers & other adults around them. Wonder if it is us (adults) who have not taught them enough?

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR TEACHERS : Tip no. 41 - Pick a student today and walk down the corridor with him/her. Observe his/her body language. Does he/she look relax, comfortable and chatty? Or does he/she look tense, anxious and scared? You can try this tip if you are curious about how the students perceive you. If you couldn't bother to find out, simply ignore this tip....

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR TEACHERS : Tip no. 42 - Practise student-centred teaching learning process. Focus on your learners. Identify their learning needs. Enough with teacher-centred learning, where you decide everything for the learners - what , why, who, where, when & how to learn. Stop pushing the learners to score good marks for your subject because it will make you look real good! Guide them from where they are.

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR TEACHERS : Tip no. 43 - Never worry that one day, your students would exceed you in so many ways. Do not feel insecure. Teach them all the knowledge & skills that you have. If they inform you that they are inspired to be like you, gently squeeze their hands, look straight into their eyes and say this with full sincerity: `I pray that you are going to be better than me.'

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR TEACHERS : Tip no. 44 - Pray that today, you are going to help your students in your class realize that learning is supposed to be liberating, enjoyable and fun. At least, ONE student...if you can't do much for the rest. For that one student, she/he will soon venture to be an independent learner throughout his/her life. Then, you can sit back and say : Mission accomplished!

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR TEACHERS : Tip no. 45 - Treasure those proud moments when you witness your students graduating/ moving on to another phase of their lives. Pat yourself at the back, dear teacher - for you have done your little part and contributed your little share into the lives of those students. Pray that even if those were considered small deeds in the eyes of men, they would be regarded as significant enough in the eyes of Allah SWT!

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR TEACHERS : Tip no. 46 - Remind your students on the 4S of life - Survival, Stability, Success & Significance. Advise them to focus on their studies, get a degree and find a well-paid job - so they can accelerate past thru' Survival & Stability. Success depends on how they define it. This is the most treacherous phase where many had failed to handle. Only a few`successful' people can become Significant by sharing their success with others

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR TEACHERS : Tip no. 47 - Bake a cake, order a pizza or buy `nasi lemak' for the class today. Surprise your students with unexpected treats from time to time. When they ask you why, give this answer : ` I'm thankful to God for giving me another day to teach you all. I might not be around tomorrow. But I want you all to know that I really care for each and every one of you!

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR TEACHERS : Tip no. 48 - Tell a short story about your favourite teacher to your class. Explain what you like most about his/her characters that made him/her your favourite. Share what was taught to you by this particular teacher that still stays with you until today. If the teacher has passed away, recite Al-Fatihah & prayers for him/her. You've just demonstrated to your students how to show continuous respect to teachers.

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR TEACHERS : Tip no. 49 - Inform your students about Gary Chapman's five love languages (how love is expressed) - affirmative words, gifts, quality time, acts of service & physical touch. Instruct them to choose one that made them feel most loved & write down the choice on a piece of paper. Collect the notes & make a list. Now you basically have the database on how to express your genuine care & love for your learners. This tip is especially dedicated to those who are always willing to go that EXTRA mile!

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR TEACHERS : Tip no. 50 - Walk your talk. Practise what you preach. If you're not capable to do so, talk less and stop preaching. Indeed, as teachers we have to role model the appropriate behaviours for our students to emulate. We are not perfect, therefore we have to keep improving ourselves. We have to go on carrying the torch....

Loves,
Dr. Har

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DR HARLINA'S SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tips no. 1 - 50

Salam

I am a blessed mother of three beautiful children since 1993 & thousands more medical students since 1997. I started writing these tips as FB page entry since June 29th, 2011. If you can benefit from these, let's share them with as many parents out there.

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no.1 - Strive to be the best role model to your children. Make them proud of you first before you can expect them to make you proud. How about asking this question to your adolescent kids today : ` Have I ever made you proud, son/daughter?' Reflect on the answer, if you're gonna get one.

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no.2 - Display your commitment, affection and love for each other (as parents & couple) for your children to see. Put on your best smiles the moment you step into the house, no matter how bad things are at work. Make your home as the sanctuary & heaven on earth for the kids. Keep it warm & cozy with your prayers and unconditional love for everyone.

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 3 - Avoid degrading or talking bad about your spouse in front of the children. Remember, it is their father/mother you're complaining about. Don't try to win them over & make them go against your spouse. That's not win-lose, in fact, it is definitely a lose-lose!

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 4 - Appreciate every single deed and help you received from your children. Thank them, praise them - loud and clear for everybody to hear. Put on your best smile while thanking them. You have just made up their day

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 5 - Practice what you preach. But don't preach every time you talk to the children. It might sound like a good sermon to you, but to them, it is simply a nag! Don't ever begin your sentence with ` When I was your age,..'. If you do, just watch their eyes rolling up & their ears turning deaf.

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 6 - Provide spiritual guide to your children - they need the framework & structure. Never neglect spirituality in everything you do. Pray together as much as you could. Read the Quran and reflect on its meaning. Convince them, spiritual health is as important (if not more) as physical, mental & emotional health.

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 7 - Apologize for your mistakes and shortcomings, tho' sorry is the hardest word, esp. for parents. We can be wrong too. The children need to be reminded that they're being raised by HUMAN BEINGS, not angels. Try hard not to repeat the mistakes. This might be the most difficult tip to practise!

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 8 - Allow some space for your adolescents to make decisions and guide them from there. Trust them. Who else will if not you, the parent who raised them up! Don't doubt your parenting. Avoid suffocating them with your over-protectiveness. Let them learn from their mistakes.

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no 9 - Introduce your children to your friends/colleagues. Exhibit how much you appreciate them & proud to be associated with them. Only then you could expect your kids to introduced their friends to you!


SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 10 - Learn about your children's love languages. Each has a different, dominant type, tho' they might come from the same womb. Manage the diversity. Adapt the best parenting method for each of them. Get feedback - that's the only way to improve.

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 11 - Thank Allah everyday for selecting you, of all the parents in the world, to be THE parent to these beautiful children. Feel honoured by the privileges of being a parent. Enjoy your parenthood - despite the hardship, pain, worries and sleepless nights (not mentioning the big bucks). Cherish your role - show how much you love being a parent!

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 12 - Treasure your own parents, and let the children realize how much you love them. Visit their graves (if they are no longer alive) & tell the children amazing stories about their deceased grandparents. If they're still alive, allow the children to spend their holidays together. Allow grandparents to occupy a special place in the children's hearts & lives.

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 13 - Involve the children in making plans for the family - renovating the house, buying a new car, selecting gifts etc. Best time to teach them about family value & traditions. Let them suggest, however indicate who's the boss. Be fair, sporting and reasonable - this is when the children learn the rules of the game.

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 14 - Instill love for books & knowledge into your children's lives. Hang around in bookshops & never miss the annual book fair. Being digital natives, introduce them to e-books, digital readers & tablets. Read together as a family. You're enriching them with a legacy.

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 15 - Be fair in showing off your affection to each of your children. Deal with sibling rivalry - do not just ignore it. Make time to understand the dynamics, address the dissatisfaction, attend to each complaint. Put yourself in their shoes - they always see things differently!

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 16 - Learn to say NO to your children, esp. on matters of principles. Do not compromise your values to accommodate their demands. Provide guidance, framework & structure. They need those to lead a successful & meaningful future.

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 17 - Avoid calling your children `problematic' - esp when you can't handle them. Let's rephrase - they are children with `difficulties' - varying degrees, of course. Some quite trivial, some really massive! They need your help & assistance. Do not give up or abandon them now!

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 18 - Support each other in your parenting process. Display solidarity, restrain from open contradiction on parenting styles. Kids tend to be manipulative if they know you both have disagreement. Single parents, engage others (family, close friends) to support you. You shouldn't shoulder these duties alone!

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 19 - Instill sense of belonging among your children. Train the young ones to respect the elder siblings, vice versa. Keep them closely knitted.Treat them equally, avoid favoritism. Express unconditional love. Everyone matters & has a special, dedicated place in everybody's heart.

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 20 - Befriend your adolescent kids - if possible be their best friend . Avoid being their worst enemy. No doubt parenting adolescents can be most challenging, but they're also facing the most difficult phase of their lives. Friends are not judgmental, loyal and keep secrets well, while enemies despise & couldn't stand one another.Which one is you?

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 21 - Respond appropriately when others complained about your children's misbehavior/misconduct. Do not take it personally. Do not stage war or threaten to take legal action against the complainant before investigating thoroughly. It takes the whole world (not just a village) to raise a child these days.

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 22 - Make time to read the Quran together with your children, especially the adolescents. Ponder on the translation. Help each other to memorize some parts of the Quran. Each child should have his/her own Quran (+ translation) hardcopy, besides a mobile phone @ laptop!

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 23 - Raise your boys to be caring, thoughtful and responsible men. Never humiliate them in front of others, esp the siblings. Be a good listener and mind-reader. Listen to his silence. Read his body languages. Your teenage boy is sending out a message : SOS, help me survive this rapids of adolescence! Anybody listening out there?

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 24 - Engage in intellectual discussion with your spouse - on issues of environment, politics, socio-economics. Include the children in the discourse, get their opinions. Avoid gossiping about the neighbours/artists/politicians​. Stop quarelling over petty matters. Enlighten your home with rays of wisdom and virtues.

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 25 - Play with your toddlers ( below five years) - that was what Saidina Ali ra proposed. Dads, carry them over your shoulders - give them the chance to see the world from where you stand. Rasulullah SAW did that to his grandsons. The child psychologists agreed that is the best way to carry your toddler!

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 26 - Pay attention to your adolescent girl. She really wanna know whether she inherits your beauty, Mum! She desperately needs to know whether you think she's pretty and presentable, Dad! Assure her that in your eyes - she is the most beautiful and charming. She needs that affirmation to face the world of fake beauty outside!

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 27 - Discipline your children (esp those between 7-12 years of age) with love. Sound familiar,eh? How can that be possible? If you really love them, train your children with discipline, self-restraint and strong will. Instill consistency and high standard of self-management. Unfortunately, it all has to start with you first!

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 28 - Watch your children sleeping. See how innocent and peaceful they are! Thank Allah for trusting you to look after His beautiful, tender creatures. Promise Allah that you will seriously take good care of them. Keep to your promise - never ever forget that!


SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 29 - Listen to your children. I really mean it. LISTEN to their stories, laugh at their jokes and answer their questions. Give your undivided attention if they need you to listen to their worries, complaints etc. Look into their eyes. Once they're assured that you care enough for them, they are ready to face ANY challenges out there!

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 30 - Groom your children with good manners - train them to say`Please', `Thank you', `Excuse me' etc. Teach them the right body language, facial expression and voice intonation that goes along with those pleasant words. Explain what rudeness means, make them aware of social norms & cultural values surrounding them.

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 31 - Learn to manage and handle diversity efficiently - your children are different eventho' they might be coming out from the same womb. Learn their likes & dislikes, strengths & shortcomings. Remember what John Gray wrote about ` Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, Children are from Heaven, Living together on Earth!

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 32 - Make effort to reach home before the children go to bed. Spend time to listen to what they did at school today, look at their drawings & masterpiece. Do not ever forget to wear your smiles. Tell how glad you are to be safely home with them. Remember, the kids spell l.o.v.e with T.I.M.E!

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 33 - Bring your children to your office sometimes (of course, only if your employer permits). Let them see where you sit, rest, pray & eat in the office and what decorates your room/table/cubicle. Introduce them to your colleagues. Explain in simple terms what exactly your role & contribution in the organization. Show them the organizational chart. This is another important part of your life that they need to know & share. This is where your paycheck comes from. Remind them that you don't simply pluck money from the trees.

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 34 - Teach your kids about principles of life such as honesty is the best policy, respecting others, be thankful & grateful to those who have helped etc. Principles remain to be the virtues of life. Train your children to keep to their promises, to be truthful and to accomplish what is expected from them. Lead a principle-centered life every day.

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 35 - Be consistent in disciplining your children. Be confident with your ability to do so. Explain why such rules & regulations are necessary. Do not easily succumb to their `manipulations' & `emotional blackmail'. Keep reminding yourself, the children need structure & framework, esp between age 7 to 13. Do not reserve it to later years of adolescence. It will be too late by then!

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 36 - Pluck some courage to ask your teenage children this question : ` Are you proud of me being your parent?' If you are fortunate enough to receive an answer, ask the next question : ` Exactly what is the main reason that made you proud/not proud of me?' Listen to the answers, listen real hard. We definitely need appraisal on our performance & competence as parents too!

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 37 - Make sure you are ten steps ahead of your children in everything. Equip yourself with the latest update on their favourite websites, music, sports, games, movies, actors & singers. Conduct your own research. Learn about the latest gadget in town. The best way to be updated is by showing some interest & asking the kids themselves. Who knows, they might finally accept your to be their FB friend and stop rejecting each time your sent your request!

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 38 - Train your children to comply to the Quranic teachings. Teach them about verse 23 & 24, Surah Al-Isra' (Chapter 17) before it's too late. Allah wants them to be respectful & kind in their conducts towards you. They must not raise their voice while talking to you or dismiss you by simply saying ; Ahh! They must choose the best words in conversations with you. They must never forget to pray for you. As liberal & friendly as you are as a parent, stick to this principle!

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 39 - Do not allow your love for the children blind you. Your deep love must be translated to a genuine concern to shape the kids into caring & responsible individuals for the future. Be wise enough to manoeuvre your parenting skills - knowing when to let go & restrain. Be kind and considerate & make sure you are always in control, since you're the boss!

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 40 - Show interest in your child's close friends. Invite them to your house for sleepovers. Get to know their parents too. You can discover a bit more about your child by the friends that he/she chooses. Have a heart-to-heart discussion with your child if you disapprove any of his/her friends. Keep checking on their activities. Let your child know that you really care!

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 41 - Love your children unconditionally. Do not practise favouritism. Be generous with compliments & rewards. At the same time, be consistent and persistent in instilling values. Be fair and just in your punishments. Remind them time and again, how much you need them to cooperate. At the end, you never expect compensation for your sweats & tears in raising up those beautiful children!

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 42 - Pray to Allah for assistance and strength in carrying out your duties as parents. If you're adopting a child into your family, pray that he/she will add more blessings and colours to your everyday life. Ask Allah SWT to open your heart so that you can accommodate as many children in it - not only meant for your own flesh & blood.

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 43 - Avoid humiliating and degrading your child in front of others, esp. his/her own siblings & friends. Your child would not be able to withstand the pain & bitterness of constant embarrassment. He/She is going to need lot of help with his/her self-confidence & acceptance. There must be a better humane way to boost up or motivate your child.

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 44 - Acknowledge the A's in your child's report card before focusing on the B's, C's, D's & E's. Appreciate his/her effort. If you feel that he/she was not trying hard enough, it's time for a one-on-one / heart-to-heart talk. Work out some plan for the holiday. But make sure, do not overburden them. Give them space to learn according to their own paces.

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 45 - Always be there for your children. Be the strong pillar for them to lean on to. Lend them your shoulder for them to cry on. Put your arms around them to provide the warmth they desperately need in this cold, icy competitive world. Do not abandon or ignore them now- physically, emotionally & spiritually. Never ever give up on them!

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 46 - Win your children's hearts by learning the skills on how to make them feel special. Your kids do not need much actually. Learn their love languages & express your love through those means. Be generous with your rewards. However be smart enough to decide on the right achievement, time, place and situation before rewarding the best acknowledgement to that particular child. Experience counts here!

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 47 - Be well reminded that you do not OWN your children. They do not belonged to you, even though you might be the one contributing the sperm/ovum and allowing them grow in your uterus! They're Allah's special packages of love, care, misery, discomfort, anxiety, joy and sorrow. Allah sent them to groom you to be a better person. Handle them with a lot of care, trust and honour!

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 48 - Keep improving yourself to be a better parent. We're still learning each day. Let your children see how committed you are in bringing them up to be good individuals. Make them realize that you will never give up and will go on trying. Don't forget to ask them to pray for Allah's guidance on you. We definitely need all the help we could get here!

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 49 - Prepare your children to face this life without your presence. Remind them that death is inevitable. It's either they have to see you departing from this world, or it is you who have to face their deaths, which ever comes first! Besides your life saving & insurance, leave behind a legacy for the children to emulate, cherish and treasure.Pray hard for Allah's guidance to your children, especially when you're no longer around.

SURVIVAL TIPS FOR PARENTS : Tip no. 50 - Raise your children with the best methods you know how. Stay committed to your parenting responsibilities. Keep on learning new parenting techniques suitable for the new generations of parents & children. Bear the heartaches and deep cuts, lost opportunities and time constraints. When you witness how well your children adapt and survive their life challenges, do not ever forget to thank Allah SWT! Simply give your best to this very rewarding job called PARENTING!

Loves,
Dr. Har

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DR HAR'S TOPICS OF INTEREST

Here are the list of topics that I have delivered so far in my speaking engagements in Malaysia @ abroad.

1. MEDICAL EDUCATION
1.1 Becoming a Five-Star Doctor (motivational)
1.2 Training, Teaching & Assessing Medical Professionalism
1.3 Managing Diversity
1.4 Clinical Decision Making
1.5 Medical Ethics - from Womb to Tomb
1.6 Communication & Interpersonal Skills for Healthcare Providers

2. WOMEN HEALTH & SEXUAL REPRODUCTIVE HEALTH
2.1 Do you have what it takes to be an OB-GYN?
2.2 Motherhood at the crossroad : Challenges Ahead ( maternal health)
2.3 Achieveing MDG4 & 5 through promotion of maternal & neonatal health
2.4 Family Planning & Contraception : Social & Religious perspectives
2.5 Adolescent sexual & reproductive health
2.6 Sexuality Education

3. WOMEN & FAMILY
3.1 Women in the eyes of God : where do they stand?
3.2 Women empowerment in Islam
3.3 Gender relationship : husband-wife
3.4 Parenting
3.5 Women self-esteem & self-confidence
3.6 Leadership & decision making

4. SKILLS & CAPACITY BUILDING
4.1 Handling small group sessions (usrah/ small study circle)
4.2 Public speaking
4.3 Emotional intelligence
4.4 Life balance
4.5 Facilitation skills

PS : Photo Courtesy from Iqra' Media UTM

Loves,
Dr. Har

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